# Politics and News > UK, Canada, Oz, NZ >  WHO writes this shite ???

## Dubler9

"Asteroid the size of the Eiffel Tower on way to collision with Earth" - reading further along it slips in .... "Asteroid will travel at 15,000 MPH and pass 4.6 Millions miles distance from Earth". 
Such reports are a regular show on Google news on my Smartphone. Wedged in between rows and rows of Covid pandemic scares.

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Big Bird (12-11-2021),Captain Kirk! (12-11-2021),Conservative Libertarian (12-11-2021),Lone Gunman (12-11-2021),Mr. Claws (12-12-2021),nonsqtr (12-12-2021),Quark (12-11-2021),Swedgin (12-12-2021)

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## Big Dummy

Sounds good. Like the end of government control.

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Conservative Libertarian (12-11-2021),Quark (12-11-2021)

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## UKSmartypants

> "Asteroid the size of the Eiffel Tower on way to collision with Earth" - reading further along it slips in .... "Asteroid will travel at 15,000 MPH and pass 4.6 Millions miles distance from Earth". 
> Such reports are a regular show on Google news on my Smartphone. Wedged in between rows and rows of Covid pandemic scares.



Usually some low grade cub reporter thats just flicked through a copy of Astrophysics Today, staring with dull uncomprehending eyes at the multisyllable words contained  therein..........

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Big Bird (12-11-2021),Dubler9 (12-12-2021),LadyMoonlight (12-11-2021),Quark (12-11-2021)

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## OldSchool

I'm not gonna hold my breath until journalists are held accountable for misleading headlines.

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Dubler9 (12-11-2021),JustPassinThru (12-13-2021),Lone Gunman (12-11-2021),Northern Rivers (12-11-2021)

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## Authentic

I'd write it if I knew who would pay me.

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## OldSchool

> I'd write it if I knew who would pay me.


Sure..... money is all that matters.  :Geez:

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Authentic (12-11-2021)

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## UKSmartypants

> I'm not gonna hold my breath until journalists are held accountable for misleading headlines.



Well half a million miles is gnats cock in space terms, but in normal people's reference frames is further than the chemists or the chip shop so it doesnt matter.

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## OldSchool

> Well half a million miles is gnats cock in space terms, but in normal people's reference frames is further than the chemists or the chip shop so it doesnt matter.


Thanks. It all makes sense now.  :Zombies Smile:

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## Authentic

> Sure..... money is all that matters.


Ain't that the TRUTH!

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## UKSmartypants

> Thanks. It all makes sense now.



The Chip Shop and The Chemists  are standard units of distance in England

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Dubler9 (12-12-2021),OldSchool (12-11-2021),Quark (12-11-2021)

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## Dan40

> Well half a million miles is gnats cock in space terms, but in normal people's reference frames is further than the chemists or the chip shop so it doesnt matter.


I bow to your expertise of gnats cocks.

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LadyMoonlight (12-11-2021),Lone Gunman (12-11-2021),MisterVeritis (12-12-2021)

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## Dan40

> The Chip Shop and The Chemists  are standard units of distance in England


You gave up on furlongs per fortnight?

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## UKSmartypants

> You gave up on furlongs per fortnight?



My car does 15 furlongs per hogshead, and thats fine by me.

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Dubler9 (12-12-2021)

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## Lone Gunman

> I bow to your expertise of gnats cocks.


gnat cocks and gnat piss.   :Cheers:

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## Dubler9

The nearest chip shop to us is 7 million miles away.

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## nonsqtr

> Ain't that the TRUTH!


Black lives don't matter?

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## Swedgin

News is, like, boring and shit.

And, reporters want to, like, be known and all that.

So, what's wrong with adding a little bit of exciting fiction, and, maybe, place yourself as the central figure of the tale, errr, I mean "news story."

I learned this at the Brian Williams center for journalistic integrity.....

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Dubler9 (12-12-2021),Mr. Claws (12-12-2021)

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## Mr. Claws

> The Chip Shop and The Chemists  are standard units of distance in England


Mr. Twain was correct, we ARE two peoples separated by a common language!  :Smiley20:

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MisterVeritis (12-12-2021)

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## UKSmartypants

> Mr. Twain was correct, we ARE two peoples separated by a common language!



No its simple, let me explain cricket to you.



You have two sides, one is out in the field and one in.   Each man in the side thats in that’s in goes in until he out. And when he’s out, he come back in and the next man out goe in until he out.  When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. When the men who are in have been in and gone out,, the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out. Sometimes there are men still in and not out.  Umpires stay out all the time, and they decide when the men who are in are out.  Depending on the weather and the light, the umpires can also send everybody in, no matter whether they’re in or out.  When both sides have been out and in and then out  including those who are not out), then the game is finished.

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## Big Wheeler

And both teams wear white.So do the umpires.

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UKSmartypants (12-12-2021)

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## Big Wheeler

All interested Americans forming an orderly queue to start the first American Cricket League should bear in mind that when they reach international level,games (called Test matches) can last up to 5 days.Although this does include breaks for tea.After 5 days the game can still end in a draw.
Order,please.No pushing at the back.

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## Authentic

> Black lives don't matter?


Not to BLM. Green paper matters.

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## Moonie

.



> All interested Americans forming an orderly queue to start the first American Cricket League should bear in mind that when they reach international level,games (called Test matches) can last up to 5 days.Although this does include breaks for tea.After 5 days the game can still end in a draw.
> Order,please.No pushing at the back.


The wealthier ones will all be expecting access for 'Executive Pre-Paid Access' to the Members Pavilion at Lords as well. "Dinner in the Long Rooom for me and my party, dude!"
.

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Big Wheeler (12-14-2021)

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## Big Wheeler

.[/QUOTE]

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