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Thread: Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop is selling a vagina-scented candle, and it's already sold out

  1. #21
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    Are they going to call it a "Snatch Candle?"

    How hard did she work, making that?

    And, how long before we start seeing Celebrity Shit Scented candles on the shelf?


    Whatever the case, I think I will just stick with Glade candles.....
    Al Swearengen: What's your partner so mad about all the time?
    Sol Star: He's not mad.
    Al Swearengen: He's got a mean way of being happy.



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    Quote Originally Posted by Quark View Post
    I don't like fish. Imagine my surprise when I got married and discovered what smelled like dead fish which I don't like. Another case where God screwed up. You mean he couldn't come up with a more pleasant smell.
    If girls are made of sugar and spice

    and everything nice

    Why do they smell like anchovies?
    #BlackLIESMatter---Martin Luther King Jr. was a REPUBLICAN!


    The Democratic Party. The party of the STUPIDS, for the STUPIDS, by the STUPIDS.

    جعل أمريكا كبيره مره أخرى
    I VOTED FOR THE PRESIDENT!

    Political Correctness is HATE SPEECH!

    THE GREATEST DANGER TO THE USA IS THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY!

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  5. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swedgin View Post
    Are they going to call it a "Snatch Candle?"

    How hard did she work, making that?

    And, how long before we start seeing Celebrity Shit Scented candles on the shelf?


    Whatever the case, I think I will just stick with Glade candles.....

    Eventually she'll have a Chanel No. 5 perfume.

    Imagine an elegant setting. Abstract water as she walks through the water there are fish all over swimming, a close up.....of one of the fish as it rushes between her legs.....then she slow walks upon the shore and like a dream she is a bed.....flowing with white and blue see through drapes.....as she teasingly doesn't let us see what is between here legs.....

    And a voice over by a transgender comes over in a sultry voice "a scent of the elegance of woman, Chanel Paltrow Vagina Dior"

    and then we get one last almost glimpse of the real vagina.
    "Everyone's always trying to leave Jesus out, which is one reason we're in the mess we're in." - Miss Clara

    Captain Cold
    : Make the plan, Execute the plan, Expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan.

    Kenneth Copeland: "Sometimes you can tell what something is by what it isn't."

    "So there you go, you're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish squirrel, congratulations." Mr. Garrison


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    Quote Originally Posted by Swedgin View Post
    Are they going to call it a "Snatch Candle?"

    How hard did she work, making that?

    And, how long before we start seeing Celebrity Shit Scented candles on the shelf?


    Whatever the case, I think I will just stick with Glade candles.....

    Eventually she'll have a Chanel No. 5 perfume.

    Imagine an elegant setting. Abstract water as she walks through the water there are fish all over swimming, a close up.....of one of the fish as it rushes between her legs.....then she slow walks upon the shore and like a dream she is at a bed.....flowing with white and blue see through drapes.....as she teasingly doesn't let us see what is between her legs.....

    And a voice over by a transgender comes over in a sultry voice "a scent of the elegance of woman, Chanel Paltrow Vagina Dior"

    and then we get one last almost glimpse of the real vagina.
    "Everyone's always trying to leave Jesus out, which is one reason we're in the mess we're in." - Miss Clara

    Captain Cold
    : Make the plan, Execute the plan, Expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan.

    Kenneth Copeland: "Sometimes you can tell what something is by what it isn't."

    "So there you go, you're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish squirrel, congratulations." Mr. Garrison


  8. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Knightkore View Post
    Eventually she'll have a Chanel No. 5 perfume.

    Imagine an elegant setting. Abstract water as she walks through the water there are fish all over swimming, a close up.....of one of the fish as it rushes between her legs.....then she slow walks upon the shore and like a dream she is a bed.....flowing with white and blue see through drapes.....as she teasingly doesn't let us see what is between here legs.....

    And a voice over by a transgender comes over in a sultry voice "a scent of the elegance of woman, Chanel Paltrow Vagina Dior"

    and then we get one last almost glimpse of the real vagina.


    And a swarm of fruit flies spews out!
    Al Swearengen: What's your partner so mad about all the time?
    Sol Star: He's not mad.
    Al Swearengen: He's got a mean way of being happy.



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    Quote Originally Posted by Swedgin View Post
    And a swarm of fruit flies spews out!

    "Everyone's always trying to leave Jesus out, which is one reason we're in the mess we're in." - Miss Clara

    Captain Cold
    : Make the plan, Execute the plan, Expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan.

    Kenneth Copeland: "Sometimes you can tell what something is by what it isn't."

    "So there you go, you're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish squirrel, congratulations." Mr. Garrison


  11. #27
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    Ok, there is a joke I can insert here but it's just not coming to me.
    Yep, I'd wrap that in bacon! KEEP AMERICA GREAT, TRUMP 2020
    Report illegal aliens, call ICE @ 1-866-DHS-2ICE (347-2423)






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  13. #28
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    These hollyweiders are some sick puppies!

    Beautician says sperm is the key to glowing skin | Newshub

    https://www.newshub.co.nz › home › lifestyle › 2019/05 › beautician-says...





    May 6, 2019 - ... over 22 years, says she's worked with celebrities like Stella McCartney and Gwyneth Paltrow. ... Lewis is not the first to promote sperm facials.
    Yep, I'd wrap that in bacon! KEEP AMERICA GREAT, TRUMP 2020
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  14. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Knightkore View Post
    I remember going camping and setting fire to cow patties to keep the flies away.

    Maybe it would sell better?
    It's kind of ironic, however far we go forward, we end up going back.

    I think there must be something psychologically nostalgic about these less-than-clean animalic scents that no longer exist in our everyday sterile modern society, but which were normal smells for people living 150 years ago.

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    That's nothing new. Many of these rich Hollywood celebrities have been paying men to donate their semen so they can spread it on their face, since the Beverly Hills cosmologists believe it promotes younger-looking skin.
    Probably even more women in California would do it, except for the expense.
    It was a fad that started in the late 90s.
    We could probably start a separate thread topic on this.

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