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Thread: The further adventures of Pork Chop

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    Smile The further adventures of Pork Chop

    An update.

    Those of you regulars who remember the succulent experience of an English pork chop will be delighted, or occasionally not, that his world has changed. After failing to find further work in Thailand or China due to age restrictions, Mrs. Pork Chop and I decided I should try pastures new. Pork Chop has returned to be a Queen’s subject and experience the delights of UK multiculturalism. (It’s like the League of bloody Nations here)!

    I’m now back in the UK! I’m two years from retirement and so I’ll spend that time working here while Mrs. Pork Chop runs her small business back in Thailand and looks after the house and cat. Previously, I worked in logistics and hold a HGV licence (your CDL) and so I’m going to be … Are you listening Karl … A trucker! Yep, the real deal with steel toe cap boots and a high-viz jacket. My licence expired several years ago while I was in China as I couldn’t do the require medical and so I’m going to un-expire it by doing the medical and the certificate of professional competence which didn’t exist then and go and earn some shekels. These things.


    I spent a little time in Dusseldorf with a friend, but my German language isn’t what it used to be and then there’s Brexit, so I came back to the area I lived in before I left and where I know there’s work. It’s going to take a month or so before I get all the paperwork done, so I’m on an enforced holiday at present and getting used to it all again after over a decade away.

    No local education authority in their right minds would employ someone over 60 in the UK, so Pork Chops teaching days are over.
    Last edited by Pork Chop; 05-29-2019 at 05:20 AM.
    "Verbal waterboarding" - Stimulating the cerebral cortex and producing prolonged periods of mirth. Chop. P, Chops Encyclopedia of Knowledge, 2018, TPF Edition.

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    Big Dummy (05-29-2019),JMWinPR (05-29-2019),Northern Rivers (05-29-2019),Old Ridge Runner (05-30-2019)

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    Drive that lorrie !
    Last edited by MedicineBow; 05-29-2019 at 05:33 AM.

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    Vote Tommy Robinson if you can.

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    I’m a Nigel Farage man myself, I look on him currently as near to Churchill as the UK can get.

    Oh, but the problems I’ve had! If you don’t have a driving licence or a credit card you don’t exist. I renewed my bank savings account, but found they’ve taken the Mastercard off savings accounts and now it’s just an ATM card. So I asked the bank to open a current account and they said, 'we need proof of your address.' I said, 'it’s the address you’ve just sent my savings card to.' They said, 'no, we need to see your address on a document, such as a driving licence.' I said, 'I can’t get a driving licence because I need a card to book a medical by phone to get the driving licence.' The man said, 'no problem. Go and see the unemployment office, give them your national insurance number and they’ll send you a letter confirming it which will be your proof of address.'

    Are you still with me so far? I need a letter from the unemployment office, so I can open a current account, so I can get a bank card so I can book my medical to get my driving licence.

    So off I go to the unemployment office, give them my national insurance number and ask them to send conformation of it to my address. The man said, 'are you unemployed?' I said, 'yes', but he said, ‘sorry, we can’t help you unless you claim from us.’ He must have noticed the despair on my face because he said, 'here’s a phone number for the Work and Pensions Department, they’ll do it for you.'

    So I rang the number and a nice lady said, 'of course we can do that for you at our local office, we just need proof of your address, a driving licence will do!' I put the phone down.

    Only one thing left to do. Go to a private opticians for the eyesight test. Then a private doctor for a medical. Send in the required sum and pay out the equivalent of US $227. That circumvents the madness and gets me my licence. Have you any idea how many bacon sandwiches $227 would buy?! Booking over the phone would have cost US $88.

    I’ve had some funny moments too. I got off the plane went outside and asked a lady who was smoking for a light. She gave me her lighter, but it’s a new type called a jet lighter. It doesn’t have a flame that you can see but a very powerful element. I flicked it a few times and nothing happened so I said, 'your lighter doesn’t work' and she said, 'yes it does, it’s a jet lighter.' Looking as stupid as you can get I said, 'what’s a jet lighter?' She just looked at me as if I were a weirdo and walked off. This place is going to get some time to get used to thought Pork Chop.
    Last edited by Pork Chop; 05-29-2019 at 11:36 AM.
    "Verbal waterboarding" - Stimulating the cerebral cortex and producing prolonged periods of mirth. Chop. P, Chops Encyclopedia of Knowledge, 2018, TPF Edition.

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