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Thread: Marine Corps to reduce infantryman’s load by recruiting fewer wussies

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    Marine Corps to reduce infantryman’s load by recruiting fewer wussies

    Send in the AA twink brigade! Or send some real men. What will it be?



    Marine Corps to reduce infantryman’s load by recruiting fewer wussies


    Dave Hardin | January 11, 2019






    In an attempt to reduce the weight carried by already overburdened infantryman, the Marine Corps announced today that it would seek to reduce troops’ combat loads by recruiting fewer wussies.

    “Studies by the Marine Corps Warfighting Lab and Center for Naval Analyses have shown that we can greatly decrease injury rates by reducing the number of wimps, wusses, and Nancy-pantses in our infantry units,” said Commandant of the Marine Corps Gen. Robert Neller.

    “Further, we believe a battalion’s lethality will increase ten to fifteen percent simply by removing all broke dick losers from its ranks.”

    Previous studies from the World War II and Vietnam War eras showed that the maximum amount of weight under which the average infantryman could effectively operate in combat was 45 to 50 pounds. However, Neller believes this load could be increased to 80 or even 90 pounds for any Marine that is not a “candy-ass bitch.”

    “After months of lab experiments and field testing, we’ve concluded that a Marine could travel farther and faster under load if he or she is not a pathetic, spineless jellyfish,” said CNA physiologist Dr. Zeb Krantz. “Much of the pain and fatigue often associated with rucking and patrolling can be overcome by a steady practice of sucking it the fuck up.”

    Operational testing by Marine units in Twentynine Palms, California, also showed that most Marine could increase their carrying capacity by regularly lifting heavy weights and not being a flaccid little creampuff. The Warfighting Lab has even developed a qualitative assessment called the Performance and Nerve System (PANSys) for determining whether a prospective recruit is an impotent softy.

    “We’re still in the beginning stages of implementation,” said Neller. “But I’m confident we’ll be able to get rid of all chickenshit fat bodies by the end of the year.”

    If we could only choose the reality we live in.


    Source: Marine Corps to reduce infantryman’s load by recruiting fewer wussies
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    Quote Originally Posted by Big Dummy View Post
    Send in the AA twink brigade! Or send some real men. What will it be?



    Marine Corps to reduce infantryman’s load by recruiting fewer wussies


    Dave Hardin | January 11, 2019





    In an attempt to reduce the weight carried by already overburdened infantryman, the Marine Corps announced today that it would seek to reduce troops’ combat loads by recruiting fewer wussies.

    “Studies by the Marine Corps Warfighting Lab and Center for Naval Analyses have shown that we can greatly decrease injury rates by reducing the number of wimps, wusses, and Nancy-pantses in our infantry units,” said Commandant of the Marine Corps Gen. Robert Neller.

    “Further, we believe a battalion’s lethality will increase ten to fifteen percent simply by removing all broke dick losers from its ranks.”

    Previous studies from the World War II and Vietnam War eras showed that the maximum amount of weight under which the average infantryman could effectively operate in combat was 45 to 50 pounds. However, Neller believes this load could be increased to 80 or even 90 pounds for any Marine that is not a “candy-ass bitch.”

    “After months of lab experiments and field testing, we’ve concluded that a Marine could travel farther and faster under load if he or she is not a pathetic, spineless jellyfish,” said CNA physiologist Dr. Zeb Krantz. “Much of the pain and fatigue often associated with rucking and patrolling can be overcome by a steady practice of sucking it the fuck up.”

    Operational testing by Marine units in Twentynine Palms, California, also showed that most Marine could increase their carrying capacity by regularly lifting heavy weights and not being a flaccid little creampuff. The Warfighting Lab has even developed a qualitative assessment called the Performance and Nerve System (PANSys) for determining whether a prospective recruit is an impotent softy.

    “We’re still in the beginning stages of implementation,” said Neller. “But I’m confident we’ll be able to get rid of all chickenshit fat bodies by the end of the year.”

    If we could only choose the reality we live in.


    Source: Marine Corps to reduce infantryman’s load by recruiting fewer wussies
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    Semper Fi

    Hell during recruit training at MCRD San Diego they took us to Camp Pendleton where we had to "hump" a little hill known as Mount MotherF*cker. I hear they closed that down a few years ago because some of the recruits could not handle it.

    When I was in we did not get to call ourselves Marines until boot camp graduation, now they get to refer to themselves as Marines during field training (or so I have heard).

    I wasn't called Marine during boot camp. I wasn't even referred to as a Private. What I was referred to as, what everyone in that particular training platoon was referred to as was "recruit", poster child for abortion, and a few other interesting titles.

    After we formed up on graduation day to go pass in review our senior drill instructor didn't even refer to us as Marines. His exact words were, "Okay you motherfuckers it's showtime"
    Last edited by DLLS; 01-12-2019 at 12:52 PM.
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    In other news, the Air Force has banned coffee from all bases.

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