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Thread: The Fickle Finger Of Fate...

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    The Fickle Finger Of Fate...

    On the first day, He sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

    On the second day, He had the movers come and collect his things.

    On the third day, He sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of wine.

    When he'd finished, he went into each and every
    room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar into the hollow center of the curtain rods. He then cleaned up The kitchen and left.

    On the fourth day, The wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss. Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.

    Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting..
    Nothing worked!

    People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

    Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided
    they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house. Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

    So...
    unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

    Then the ex called the woman and asked how things were going. She told him the saga of the rotting house. He listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for having the house. Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/10th of what the house had been worth ...but only if he would sign the papers that very day.

    He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.

    A week later the Woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...... and to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain rods!

    I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T
    YOU?
    Last edited by S-N-A-F-U; 06-13-2018 at 11:26 AM.

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    "The nose, knows"


    "We Must Secure the Existence of our People and a Future for White Children".

    #walkaway

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    hiding a raw fish in the vents of a vehicle works well too....
    "The nose, knows"


    "We Must Secure the Existence of our People and a Future for White Children".

    #walkaway

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    Seems like a lot of planning & work to me. I'd just wait until I know they are going to be at home. Then I'd eat a couple of cans of beans & go over & sit there for a few hours. (wink).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rutabaga View Post
    hiding a raw fish in the vents of a vehicle works well too....
    Turning someones water off at the meter is a good way to screw with them @Rickity Plumber will still need show up $ lol
    Yep, I'd wrap that in bacon!
    Report illegal aliens, call ICE @ 1-866-DHS-2ICE (347-2423)
    Battle flag of the 1st Florida Cavalry & 4th Florida Infantry
    Regiment (consolidated), captured near Murfreesboro,
    Tenn. on Dec 7 1864.

    I propose the term "red henning" henceforth be used to refer to any stupid business decisions.


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    When we were going to college, i rode back to campus from home with my brother. He had a nice Buick.
    That thing stunk so bad, i was puking out the window on the interstate.

    When we got back to the apartment , i crawled underneath and looked. I didn't see anything but the smell was the worst.
    So brother crawls under there , and same thing. Nothing.

    Finally I crawl under the car one last time.
    Low and behold there is a whole armadillo wedged up below the manifold, not only rotting but getting cooked while rotten.

    I don't remember if he ever got that smell out of that car.
    It was one of the most acrid, putrid, fonks in all of history.

    Didn't seem to bother him too much.
    Today we live. Tomorrow we die.
    "Evil is da Devil minus da D"

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    Quote Originally Posted by HawkTheSlayer View Post
    When we were going to college, i rode back to campus from home with my brother. He had a nice Buick.
    That thing stunk so bad, i was puking out the window on the interstate.

    When we got back to the apartment , i crawled underneath and looked. I didn't see anything but the smell was the worst.
    So brother crawls under there , and same thing. Nothing.

    Finally I crawl under the car one last time.
    Low and behold there is a whole armadillo wedged up below the manifold, not only rotting but getting cooked while rotten.

    I don't remember if he ever got that smell out of that car.
    It was one of the most acrid, putrid, fonks in all of history.

    Didn't seem to bother him too much.
    Me and my diving buddy were out on the reefs some years ago. I got a couple of nice flounder by shooting the speargun at them as they rested in the sand thinking they were totally hidden.

    Once back at the dock, I cleaned the flounder and put them in good size plastic bag with ice for the hour and a half drive back home.

    I must have punctured the plastic bag with my knife during this process and the longer the ice melted, the more leaked out onto the rear floor of the truck (4 door truck) with the fishy melting ice water.

    It was unknown to me until I got home but the damage was done. The stinky slimy water had permeated the carpet and padding. But of course the stink didn't begin until the next day when I went to go to work. The odor was un-human! Dead fish water had soaked through and was doing its damage now.

    I couldn't stand it no longer! I had to take it to a friend who cleaned carpets and he worked and worked on getting the smell out. All he did was mask the odor until the deodorizer smell wore out and dead fish smell began all over.

    There was always a hint of dead fish smell in the truck. Never did go away completely.

    Never depend your life on a plastic bag @HawkTheSlayer , there will be hell to pay.



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    Quote Originally Posted by HawkTheSlayer View Post
    When we were going to college, i rode back to campus from home with my brother. He had a nice Buick.
    That thing stunk so bad, i was puking out the window on the interstate.

    When we got back to the apartment , i crawled underneath and looked. I didn't see anything but the smell was the worst.
    So brother crawls under there , and same thing. Nothing.

    Finally I crawl under the car one last time.
    Low and behold there is a whole armadillo wedged up below the manifold, not only rotting but getting cooked while rotten.

    I don't remember if he ever got that smell out of that car.
    It was one of the most acrid, putrid, fonks in all of history.

    Didn't seem to bother him too much.
    Didn't I hear that when Trump moved into the WH??


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    Quote Originally Posted by Rickity Plumber View Post
    Me and my diving buddy were out on the reefs some years ago. I got a couple of nice flounder by shooting the speargun at them as they rested in the sand thinking they were totally hidden.

    Once back at the dock, I cleaned the flounder and put them in good size plastic bag with ice for the hour and a half drive back home.

    I must have punctured the plastic bag with my knife during this process and the longer the ice melted, the more leaked out onto the rear floor of the truck (4 door truck) with the fishy melting ice water.

    It was unknown to me until I got home but the damage was done. The stinky slimy water had permeated the carpet and padding. But of course the stink didn't begin until the next day when I went to go to work. The odor was un-human! Dead fish water had soaked through and was doing its damage now.

    I couldn't stand it no longer! I had to take it to a friend who cleaned carpets and he worked and worked on getting the smell out. All he did was mask the odor until the deodorizer smell wore out and dead fish smell began all over.

    There was always a hint of dead fish smell in the truck. Never did go away completely.

    Never depend your life on a plastic bag @HawkTheSlayer , there will be hell to pay.
    Poo-foo...!

    One time i had some 4 ft. HOOP NETS in the Mississippi river. Actually on the bank when the river was flooding in about 3 1/2 feet of water. I had leads too. So everything that swam funneled into the the round nets.
    I would go everyday and empty them.

    I got busy and didn't get a chance to check them for three days. The problem was the water had risen about a foot.
    Loads and loads of turtles were in every net. They could not breath because the river had risen and were mostly all dead.

    I mean rotten dead, podnuh,,,!! When you lifted the net , rotten legs and heads would slough off. That kind of rotten.
    Took me hours to just empty one net from the smell. I had to take breaks and rest on the levee. I don't how many times I threw up and dry heaved.

    It took me 3 days to retrieve 4 nets. Three days of olfactory agony.
    Those nets cost me too much money and I wasn't about to just abandon them and leave them there.
    Last edited by HawkTheSlayer; 06-14-2018 at 08:42 AM.
    Today we live. Tomorrow we die.
    "Evil is da Devil minus da D"

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    Quote Originally Posted by HawkTheSlayer View Post
    Poo-foo...!

    One time i had some 4 ft. HOOP NETS in the Mississippi river. Actually on the bank when the river was flooding in about 3 1/2 feet of water. Imhad leads too. So everything that swam funneled into the the round nets.
    I would go everyday and empty them.

    I got busy and didn't get a chance to check them for three days. The problem was the water had risen about a foot.
    Loads and loads of turtles were in every net. They could breath because the river had risen and mostly all dead.

    I mean rotten dead, podnuh,,,!! When you lifted the net , rotten legs and heads would slough off. That kind of rotten.
    Took me hours to just empty one net from the smell. I had to take breaks and rest on the levee. I don't how many times I threw up and dry heaved.

    It took me 3 days to retrieve 4 nets. Three days of olfactory agony.
    Those nets cost me too much money and I wasn't about to just abandon them and leave them there.
    Man, I know what you mean about the smell being so bad it makes you gag and puke. One time a skunk was in a leg hold trap on a trapline that I was walking with another buddy on. I walked up to it and that smell was like a brick wall Hawk! It hit you hard and fast. I could walk away from the smell but my buddy had to shoot the skunk then retrieve it out of the trap. I could smell that skunk for a week. It must have penetrated my sinus' and dug in for while.



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